Most websites suck.

Can a fifth grader understand what you do?
How are you building trust?
What makes you different?
Why should anyone care?
Are you using corporate jargon?

Get yours roasted.

Levitate Advisory
Website Roaster
LinkedIn Profile Roaster

website roaster

who built this?

more on how I think
Connect with me
Icon

Hi 👋🏽, I'm Rohan Hemani.

Fractional CMO, husband, and father.

I spent a decade learning how the giants do marketing at Amazon and Procter & Gamble. Then I started two companies, sold one, and shifted my focus to helping others tell their story (aka marketing).

I love building things, and making up titles for myself like CTO (Chief Tinkerer Officer). I help a lot of people make their websites 'not suck', so built a fun, no B.S. roaster.

Yes, your website needs to follow best practices on UX/UI, SEO, page load speed, mobile-optimization, accessibility, etc. But it also needs to tell a clear, compelling story. The words you use matter. A lot. Every website should follow these best practices.

what i've learned about websites that convert

Your website has 8 seconds to make an impression. It should immediately be clear:

The 8-second rule

  • what you do
  • who you help
  • why they should care

Clarity beats cleverness

  • Lead with a strong, compelling headline that speaks directly to your visitor's needs.
  • Strip away jargon and complexity.
  • Focus on one primary message per section.
  • Make your value proposition impossible to miss

Guide the journey

  • Structure your content as a story, with each section building on the last.
  • Use strategic calls-to-action that match visitor intent.
  • Create clear next steps at every stage.
  • Make it obvious what you want visitors to do next

Build trust

  • Show, don't tell.
  • Make the visitor feel like you're having a conversation with them as they scroll.
  • Feature real testimonials, case studies, logos of companies you've worked with.

Trust doesn't just convert. It retains.

Value over features

  • Make it about your customer - their problems, their questions, their needs.
  • Lead with benefits, not specifications.
  • Address pain points directly.
  • Show transformation potential.

Connect emotionally

  • Use storytelling to build rapport.
  • Share your mission and values
  • Show the humans behind your brand.
  • Speak to both logical and emotional needs.
more on how I think

From strategic planning to hands-on execution, I help your team move faster and build better. Perfect for companies who need CMO-level expertise without the full-time hire.

fractional advisory

For select early-stage startups, I offer partnerships that are burn-rate friendly (cash + equity). I only take on a few of these advisory roles annually.

startup advisory

The best partnerships evolve naturally. That's why I don't do 12-month locked-in contracts. Instead, I offer flexible engagements with 60-day opt-outs. I believe great work naturally leads to longer relationships, and flexibility helps us both stay focused on creating value.

let's work together

book strategy call
  • You're a founder or CEO who's curious and humble enough to know you're not the marketing expert.
  • You need help going from 0 to 1 or are looking to kickstart growth with your marketing.
  • You want your small team to punch above their weight. I'm not here to replace your team – I'm here to make them better.

are we right for each other?

yes, if...

likely not, if...

  • You want someone to just execute without questioning strategy. I believe in challenging assumptions and finding the right approach, not just the obvious one.
  • You're expecting overnight success. While I love quick wins, real growth comes from building sustainable systems.

I believe the best partnerships start with clarity. Here's how I think about who I can help most – and who might be better served elsewhere.

What do you need help with?

let's build something meaningful

All Rights Reserved

Icon

Let's connect

Levitate Advisory

Levitate Advisory